The Spores

find out whats happening with us...

2012-01-13T20:22:00.000-08:00

All new in 2012 visit us HERE

Our New Home

2010-07-05T22:33:00.000-07:00

Our New Home

Recent Family Photo Session

2010-06-18T23:06:00.000-07:00

Same deal here:

View the slide show or click this link to go to the photos in picasa.

Big thanks to my super friend and photographer for these awesome photos.

Random Iphone Pictures

2010-06-18T22:58:00.001-07:00

This is for the family or anyone else who wants to wade through 10 weeks of pictures from my Iphone.

You may watch the slideshow here in the blog or you can click this link to view the photos in the picasa album.

Just Us

2010-06-18T22:34:00.000-07:00

We're plugging along just dandy. Ending one crazy ministry season and rolling right into starting the crazy camp/mission trip summer season. Buying a house. Moving out of the baby blob stage with one child and into the two-year old independence stage with the other child. Life is wonderful and besides the incredibly long arduous short sell house buying process (I know why they call it a short sell, but really WHY do that call it a SHORT sell, it takes FOREVER) I don't have a complaint in the world.

Titus is still a skinny white man and did great at his two year old check despite getting THREE shots.

He knows all his colors and shapes and is a talking fool. He didn't really start talking till he was 19 months old, we even had his hearing tested to make sure everything was ok (and it was) so it absolutely amazes me how well he talks now. Pretend world is in full effect. We're often feeding all the animals, trucks and even Handy Manny. And he's starting to count. It goes like this right now. "1, 2, 3, 5, 15, 5, 5, 5, 13, 2, 1, 1, 2, 2, 1" He is so much fun and I am really enjoy this age right. He's definitely asserting his independence more but is still a really well behaved boy. He can often be heard tell himself "No touching. No touching." and his newest thing is wandering around the house saying "Oh dear. Oh dear." This after I corrected him from copying Momma saying "Oh Jeez". Now I hear "Oh dear" all the time.

Recently we were on our way home from the church. And here's how our conversation went:

Me: "Titus, do you know why we go to church? It's not just where Momma and Daddy work."

Titus: "God"

Me: "Yea, that's right buddy, we go to church to learn about God and to share him with others."

Titus: "Jesus"

Me: "And Jesus too, great job buddy."

Titus: "Pray... Bible... God... Jesus..."

Me: "Yes, those are all reasons why we go to church."

Titus: "God. Big."

Not only is our kiddo totally prepared to shell out all the appropraite Sunday School answer when the time comes. He's actually been soaking up what we've been teaching him!

He absolutely adores his baby brother and often asks for him just after waking. He like to hold him for about 2.5 seconds and does just great next to him as long as JJ is not "touching" or "kicking" him because he says it "hurts". Silly kiddo.

long time no update...

2009-11-21T20:32:00.000-08:00

What happens is I don't update for awhile. And then I feel like I have to explain everything that happened since I last updated and well the I get all kinds of overwhelmed.

So this time I am not going to do that.

We did go on vacation since the last update but believe it or not I was so busy enjoying my husband, entertaining a little one and being on vacation that I managed to not take a whole lot of pictures. But someday I will post about that little adventure. 2 weeks. 5,000 + miles. A 16 month old. It was awesome.

The other day we went out to the beach because there were crazy waves. We missed the super crazy waves but still enjoyed the remnants of a storm in Alaska that brought some amazing waves to our coast.

Here some pics from our adventure. I love life on the coast.

15 Months

2009-08-21T16:58:00.001-07:00

Mr. Titus celebrated his 15 month birthday earlier this month on August 11.

It is hard to believe that our little man has been in our hands for 15 months and even harder to believe that he has been in our life for almost two years.

We've been doing great as a little family. He's still a fantastic little kid developing his own little personality every minute of the day. As soon as I make the prognosis that he's a "strong willed child" he becomes a mommy please quick obeying kid. (although as I typed that paragraph he managed to get the DVD player open.) He's not talking yet but is so busy in so many other areas that we are not concerned.

I've been enjoying my photography hobby immensely. I've been plugging along part time at work and Brion has been BUSY working full time.

I enjoyed a 50mm 1.4 lens I had rented and recently been borrowing a 50mm 1.8 lens to try and purchase from a friend. I wasn't sold on the 1.8 probably just because I was so in love with the 1.4 but know the $250 price difference between the two means the 1.8 is much more likely to be in my bag well before the 1.4.

So like I said I wasn't sold on the 1.8 till I snapped these of my little model. He is truly my inspiration.

Sights of the Fair

2009-07-31T21:01:00.000-07:00

I truly had a good time snapping some pics of the fair sights. Eventually I will get up a seperate blog for pics but in the mean time enjoy.

Award Winners

2009-07-31T20:47:00.000-07:00

Our Favorite People that we got to spend quality time with at the fair. Well they are pretty handy in the quiliting deparment among other things. Among three of the family members they had nine entries in the fair. They were all winners. Each one had a pretty blue or red ribbon attached to it.

To The Fair

2009-07-31T20:25:00.000-07:00

The Spores visited the Coos County Fair this week! Much to our surprise it was not super hot and we had an incredible time. We watched one of our lovely young ladies from our youth group sing in the local Teen Idol competetion, she did an incredible job and it was such a joy to watch her. We also had an awesome visiting with my most favorite people in all our dear town, the Adams family. John, Candy, Callie and David are four very dear people to our family and it was awesome to share some time with them. We will definitely be back next year!

And this is my super hero. This is an amazing young lady, who babysits Titus in such a way that I wish she could do it year round. She comes to my house and takes such good care of him and the house. She remembers to do things I don't. Like put sunscreen on the poor kid.

This is Titus super hero. He might not know it yet - but soon Titus will follow this young man around every where he goes.

This ice cream cone - not a good idea.

Brion found plenty of students to torture.

And this what our tired little man looked like after a whole afternoon at the fair. Dazed.

More practice... Chloe

2009-07-22T09:43:00.000-07:00

Chloe so graciously let my dear friend and superb photog Ashley drag her out the beach so Ash could get in some scouting for an upcoming wedding this Saturday. And I got to play with Mr. 50mm 1.4 who will be in my possesion until Tuesday, July 28th unless I decided to extend since Mr. Brother is coming to town on the 29th.

Here's my shots. Shooting with the 1.4 takes some practice. And I still need the practice that's for sure. My pics were not as sharp as I wanted them to be and mostly because I wanted to shoot at 1.4 the whole time. The depth of field is so shallow that you must know exactly where your focus point is at and be exactly in that range. At least I think that was my problem. Some of the sharpest pictures I took were at 3.2 and 2.8. It is such a fun process to learn. I desire to be so good so quick, but I do so know that I will enjoy looking back and seeing my improvement.

Camp and Sand or Camp Sand or Sand Camp

2009-07-16T23:31:00.000-07:00

We went to see Dad at camp today.
There was sand.
After a half attempt to keep Titus controlled.
He found the volleyball court.
Or giant sandbox.He plopped down and played.
This meant that he was still for a moment.
A HA! He is happy & entertained!
And then he promptly ate a handful.
It is like he forgets that it doesn't taste good.
Later, he sat down and bent over putting his face in the sand as if to lap it up.
Remember the story from the Bible about the people who chose to lap up the water like dogs vs cupping it and bringing it thier mouths.

Well my dear child, tried both with sand.

Edit: GOT THE PICS TO POST!

In the end he had a snack. A dirty snack. He met a cute little 3 year old girl who told her dad that "the baby was yucky" which I quickly agreed! And then found this group of junior high boys that were digging a hole "to china" and my little man tried to fill it back in and was quick to try to get in on the action.

We love going to camp on Thursday's and look forward to the year that we'll be out their with Daddy for the week. Maybe next year! But now it is time for Dad to come home!

Practice - Chloe

2009-07-15T23:31:00.000-07:00

There is a certain something special about working in Children's Ministry. You fall in love with the kids around you. Deeply. See when I moved from Bellingham down here, I wasn't convinced that I could love kids the same here as I did there. I still remember the names of a lot of kids from Bellingham but the memories are distant and I don't imagine they remember much about me and that is ok. But here on the coast there are some kids whose memory of them will be burned in my soul forever. Certain PK's among a few and then there is Chloe. My dear sweet Chloe stole my heart from the beginning. I love her. And I most certainly can count on this fantastic 10 year old for so much. She is a fantastic dancer and I look forward to following her dance career for years - her contemporary solo of I Can Only Imagine moved me to tears earlier this year. It was special to me in so many ways. Tonight she let me practice portrait photography! Oh bless her! She has the most incredible blue eyes and was such a trooper. I am sure you will see her again in my practice and she was a fantastic little model for me and my friend Amey as we practiced our photography skills. Thank you Amey for a wonderful evening!

This was my first "practice shoot" and at some point in the shoot I put my ISO on 400 and never changed it back. It is a shame the light was lovely and I did not need it, so pay no attention to the obvious grain. I am learning. AND how I have come to despise my little 1gb CF card - it is a little pathetic all 116 raw photos it can handle and it is a slow little bugger. I see a 4gb in my future! Oh, but how I enjoyed learning by doing, where should the light be and where should the subject be and what is good light and what is a good backdrop - I have so much to learn. Changing my focus point, metering, shooting in actual manual not just aperture priority. Finding my personal exposure preference. I'm loving it! & I am incredibly thankful for my photoshop CS4 and raw shots! So much fun.

I made a big step today - I rented a 50mm 1.4 lens it will be here on Friday and oh how I will wait with baited breath till it comes that day. And off shooting again I will be. I must find more practice subjects! Any takers?

This is my absolute favorite picture of the day and one of the first ones I took. I fell in love with this blue wall and Chloe's sparkling blues are just wonderful!

And a little dancer she is! She loved jumping for us. Again - I love this blue wall!

And the many faces of Chloe. Thanks again girl! Love ya!

97 Years

2009-07-14T22:07:00.000-07:00

Today is my Great-Grandmother's ninety seventh birthday!

I believe if you live to be 97 you should get to eat cupcakes instead of boring cake. Not all cakes are boring, but the kind I make are. So Titus and I started the afternoon by making cupcakes and since Titus is in super clingy mode he stayed right by my side through the whole thing. And he loved sitting on the counter. I managed to not leave him to unattended. If he hadn't fallen off a chair last Friday and given me a near heart attack I would have let him stand on a chair in the kitchen. But nope, with that reasoning I sat my child on a much higher counter.

And here is the star of the show. My 97 year old Great-Grandmother. I will be 29 this year. For 29 years I have been blessed with a great-grandmother in my life. This one was just like a grandma to me growing up, we went to the beach, we played card games, I had sleepovers at her house. I have wonderful memories of her and her house in California and the dear town of Cayucos will always hold an incredibly special place in my heart. You know the smell of wet on warm asphalt. That smell takes me directly back to 5 years old and Cayucos. My great-great grandmother passed away when I was about 7 years old. I don't remember her much and I don't expect Titus to remember his great-great grandma like I will but I am so thankful that his great-great grandma will remember him. Dottie - thanks for kicking it with us for so long - wishing to spend another birthday with you in another 52 weeks

Blueberries

2009-07-13T20:51:00.000-07:00

We spent most of the day inside today, this was not my little man's choice although it did not clear up until the afternoon somtime. Not sure exactly, I gave up looking outside pretty early in the day. The day was much wasted with nothing done - nothing accomplished. Would have to say the Monday #2 with out Mr. Husband was not very exciting and kind of sad. Titus spent, what felt like, 75% of the day on my lap. This is not like him and I would have to say the he was not very excited about another day with just this Mom person. When he napped I napped, since I still refuse to sleep more than 5-6 hours a night. Come about 5:30 this evening - I gave in to my true desires (get out of the hosue) and Titus and I went outside to the backyard.

The blueberries are ripe. Well some of them. I am not a blueberry fan nor am I a professional blueberry picker. Not for any particular reason. And hopefully I learn to love them. BUT I do know it is my duty to pick them and to share them with my child. Titus has liked pretty much everything we've given him to eat and hasn't been to picky. There is some stuff that he likes more than others but he'll eat pretty much anything.

And blueberries are no exception. He couldn't get enough.

(BTW - I think this might be my absolutely favorite picture I have snagged so far)

Here is my harvest. And he just kept going in handful after handful.

I was waiting for BLUE mess everywhere but it never showed up. I was so impressed with his eagernees to keep eating them. He even started to pick them off the bush. I am so looking forward to out evening blueberry picking sessions. Can't wait to share them with Dad.

This is my little man, when I took the blueberries in to the house (I wasn't sure how many he should eat the first time around) he followed me. I could tell he had a tough choice to make when he almost followed me into the house thus giving up his outside time. He chose to just shut the screen door on me and stay outside and I snapped this picture through the screen. I love those little eyes looking up to me.

tootled around in the yard this evening

2009-07-08T22:43:00.000-07:00

These probably won't be of much interest beyond the first couple. Ventured out in the yard to shoot in manual and because basically I NEEDED to take some pictures and the light outside was wonderful. Oh, and Titus loves to play/wander outside.

Believe it or not, but this is how my backyard ends. Titus is just beginning to discover it. It looks like we live in the jungle. We don't just backed up against a "greenbelt". There is trail there that leads to the street on the other side but it is starting to get over grown it doesn't get run through anymore. Titus will discover it eventually. Oh boy!

I just love his little face and his expressions. And he, well he loves rocks.

These look like fuchsias but the plant they are attached to seems to be growing up from the ground. I didn't think, or don't think, that fuchsias could grow from the ground up. Always seen them as hanging plants... but I suppose they had to originate somewhere. We shall see.

The rest are just pictures from around my yard. Nothing to exciting, except that I thoroughly enjoyed shooting successfully in manual. Yahoo!

pictures from the park

2009-07-07T22:41:00.000-07:00

Yep. A mouth full of graham cracker.

He is my little explorer.

I love this picture. He isn't upset about falling, he's squinting because the sky is so bright. He was just laying in the grass being goofy.

Such a stoic little man.

This is just shortly after he ate a huge handful of sand. I looked over at him and he flat out bent over scooped up a handful and put it in his mouth. He made the same face he does when he eats something that doesn't taste that great. Luckily, he didn't go back for more.

I love his eyes.

Climbed up the big slide on my own!

a day in the life

2009-07-07T22:23:00.000-07:00

Today, Titus and I went to the park and he played with Lincoln while Ashley and I could chat and take pics. Oh I see lots of fun in our future.

This picture is about halfway through the morning. This face literally describes pretty much exactly how I think my son feels about the camera. I shot maybe 75 pictures of the boys, maybe 15 included an actual face and ZERO included a smile from either one. I'm impressed at 14 months my child has figured out how not to smile for the camera.

I love this picture. There are so many things about it that I love. Titus and his buddy Lincoln. Lincoln is 7 months older and bigger than Titus but they are starting to love each other although they still just like to poke at one another. Titus is pretty sneaky about it but he watches what Lincoln does. My little man was pretty apprehensive about walking on the bridge. I have no idea why. But after watching Linc run across it a couple of time, he took to crawling on it and then walking. My other favorite thing about this picture is the two strollers in the background. Looking at this reminds me of where my life is right now and how absolutely wonderful it is.

Later that afternoon, Titus went over to his Grandpa and Grandma's. I had a couple hour break where I could have napped but instead cleaned the downstairs. Titus returned with a couple bumps on his noggin. I am just torturing my mom by sharing the pics.

These are a few of the carnations that are sitting on my dining room table. My husband brought them home for me Sunday afternoon. He is at camp and it is just torturing my soul. We have a thing - when he is away from home he calls at night, usually late and prays with me and says Good Night - well he didn't call last night and he called early this evening to say he couldn't call at night this week. Oh, my little heart just broke. Oh and yes they are carnations and once upon a time I despised these cheap flowers, but now have fallen in love with their simplicity and longevity.

And tonight after the Titus man went to bed. I busted out the crafty stuff and made this card. The beauty of it is that my picture makes the card look so much greater than it really is.

Oh! And Titus pooped in the bathtub tonight. This is the second time this has happened. And once again Brion is out of town. I am beginning to think that this is my little man's way of acting out while Daddy is gone. Lame.

More...

2009-07-05T21:28:00.000-07:00

So I enjoyed shooting some pics tonight, amongst socializing during the Ice Cream Social. Titus had a mini-meltdown when he woke up from his nap so we were late and I was stressed.

I just want to shoot and learn - shoot and learn. Titus is my only model. To scared to ask anyone else and he won't sit still long enough for anything. Thankfully tonight some kids kept his attention for me for a few minutes before they got in the way.

Got several that I will keep. Played with some actions in CS4. Love it.

My little man. I am so thankful for him and his precious smile filled with joy.

And this last one is my favorite. No - you can't really see his face. But I just love the way the light is hitting his hair and since I know him I know what his little mind his up to. I just love this kid.

loving my new (used) rebel xt & it is loving me too

2009-07-04T14:29:00.000-07:00

There is an awful lot to remember and I must remind myself that the camera has only been in my hands for a few days. I accidently shot a bunch of shots with my ISO at 800 so they were grainy, I accidently shot in jpg not raw for far to many, I had hard time with some shots the other night but I had hit the timer button instead of the one shot button (secretly I thought my camera was broken, it wasn't), and now must remember what all the dials do in all the different modes. Good thing is just typing about it is making me want to go downstairs and play with the camera some more.

so far i've just been trying to master the manual (or creative as the manual calls them) controls. I've been having so much fun. Just keep rereading the manual and practicing with the camera.

I'm taking it with me to the park tonight (Church Ice Cream Social) but I am pretty sure the

light will be worthless (look at me pretending to know what I am talking about already).

Here are a few so far. Nothing too exciting. But hopefully more exciting things are to come.

The outside shots are just me discovering the joy of my aperture and focus points and I am

sure more but I can't remember all I was learning at the moment.

Meet my models - in the back is C for Camel, in the middle is D for Dophin and in the front is N for Night Owl.

These are our not so blue blueberries. But they are coming!

And this is my son. These are editted shots and my over critical eye sees so many things wrong with them that I'm having hard time posting them.

Look for lots more in the next two weeks - the husband is away at camp!

8 Things - For Fun

2009-06-08T08:25:00.001-07:00

8 Things

Cheri M. tagged me.

8 Things I'm Looking Forward To:
1. Going Part Time.

2. Hearing Titus Talk.

3. Watching my children grow to love Jesus.

4. Summer play dates for Momma.

5. Continueing to make new friends & deepen the relationships I have.

6. Titus’s baby sister or brother.

7. New babies at the church.

8. Being married for a long, long time.

8 Things I did yesterday.

1. Woke up at 5:15, made waffles for breakfast.

2. Arrived at work/church promptly at 7:30. Ran around like crazy.

3. Rolled ankle in foolish move at 8:15

4. Continued to walk around on painful ankle for a few more hours.

5. Taught a lesson on Faith: Trusting in what you can’t see because of what you can see.

6. Demo’d an Uppercase Living Party that was very fun.

7. Let husband take care of ankle with ice and love.

8. Snuggled my boy.

8 Things I Wish I Could Do:
1. Balance being a mom, a wife, youth pastor’s wife, & a children’s ministry director perfectly.

2. Always have patience with Titus and never raise my voice.

3. Go on a trip to Ireland.

4. Be more flexible with others time schedules.

5. Sing & do the motions to fun kid songs for church. I am not good at that.

6. Make 2 of the 3 meals everyday for my husband.

7. Figure out how to manage all the piles of stuff that just show up around the house.

8. Go on cruise to a warm place.

8 Shows I Watch:
1. So You Think You Can Dance

2. CSI (Las Vegas, New York, Miami)

3. Psych

4. How I Met Your Mother

5. Big Bang Theory

6. Chuck

7. NCIS

8. Project Runway, Top Chef, Design Star & Next Food Network Star

Time Flies

2009-05-07T22:14:00.000-07:00

this is 3 weeks old

this is 48 weeks later...

Titus will be ONE YEAR OLD on Monday!

WOW!

The bouncy house will be here just before 11 on Saturday,

followed by an army of our closest friends and family!

We are throwing a party!

For more pics from our latest photoshoot with our

super photographer

visit:

FourthLight Photography

girlfriends, babies, and tears

2009-05-01T21:55:00.000-07:00

I just had my first real girls day since I moved to Oregon almost 3 years ago.

Yes, I have had my girl friends from up north visit, and I am so thankful for those visits. I have a weekly appointment with a wonderful "girl" whom I don't think I would survive with out. But today I traveled 2 or so hours up the coast and went shopping with A.

A is my new friend. She's not new new. But today I would definitely call her my friend. Friendships between girls are hard. Hard to develop. Hard to maintain. Hard to deal with sometimes. And now I am a mom, so there are kids in the mix and if your kids pushes, steals, jabs eyes out or throws scissors at mine... I have an even harder time trying to be your friend. I'm not giving out ST ENDS to my BE FRI anymore, but I do truly appreciate the relationship God is forming in our hearts.

So far I think she's the only one I can shop with. We shopped for like 4 hours and I wasn't annoyed once! I wasn't expecting to be annoyed and was so excited about shopping for Titus clothes at the outlet mall that I forgot what a horrible time I have shopping with people until we got there. But I didn't! It was awesome, and I enjoy are conversations and they are honoring to God. I appreciate a girl who can share her struggles with out gossip, it encourages me to do the same even more! Just as God intended!

I had a wonderful day! & my bucket is full!

Side note: I follow this precious blog from time to time, along with another hundred thousand people or so. I can't do it everyday because I am reduced to a weepy, snotty mess most everytime I read. So I usually wait, till I have no husband (he's gone for the night) and my baby is asleep. Although after reading said blog and finishing this post I will be promptly heading upstairs to kiss my baby boy. Good night!

2009-04-14T21:55:00.000-07:00

I know we (I) haven't updated for awhile. BUT WE'VE BEEN BUSY!

Titus is growing like a weed.

His favorite things; small plastic balls, his helicopter, large bouncy ball, wrestlin' with Dad & pirate booty.

He's a happy kid! We're a happy family, busy adjusting to both Brion and I being in full-time ministry has been a challenge and we are both looking forward to the day I go part time. It is in the future. It has also been an adventure and everyday just gets better.

We are making some changes in our church and heading towards a family ministry focus. I am getting to do some of the things in Children's Ministry that I thought I would only dream about!

Oh and Titus will be ONE years old next month! I can't not believe we are that close to toddlerhood.

Captions by Titus!

Seriously, my parents thought it would be a good idea to teach me to use chopsticks! Mom doesn't even know how to! Looks like I am figuring it out so far!

My hair doesn't look like this very often. Who knows, some day maybe I will get a hair cut.... Oh and those are my favorite pirate jammies!

This is Dad and me on the bus on the way home from Seattle.

I rode all the way to there and back and didn't fuss much at all!

If Mom had let me this would have been the place I spent the most time on the bus. This is the little plastic shield that protects the bus driver from the rest of us, well not me!

This is my buddy Seth that we got to see while we were in Seattle, he's 6 months older then me. Check us out back in July!We sure have grown up! Oh excuse the bottle in my mouth, but Mom waited till late the night before we were leaving to finally take a picture and I was tired!

Update & Camera Dump

2009-02-07T12:47:00.000-08:00

"I've found the cupboard, I've opened it and now I can chew on the containers of cereal I don't even like to eat. BTW - anyone need some baby cereal?"

"HA! MOM I FOUND YOU!"

(This was my first time sneaking into that Kitchen place and surprising my Mom.)

"Oh ya, this is the life."

"Why are they always taking pictures of me when I am just trying to play my piano?!"

"So my mom thought it was pretty silly that I let this stuffed Caterpillar wrestle me to the ground, no joke, this is not staged."

AND NOW THE UPDATE...

Well, it has most certainly been too long since we've updated. If only you all knew how often I check everyone else's blogs in anticipation of an update. I do feel guilty for not updating often here.

It's been a WHOLE month and a day since the last update - and well lots has changed but probably not much we haven't told you about in person, through a phone call, or email or even facebook, myspace or twitter. You name it and we probably try to communicate on it.

Regardless, Titus will be NINE months old this Wednesday, he's super fast crawler, climber and cruiser. He knows he's so fast at crawling that I am not sure how much interest he'll have in walking for awhile. We shall see. He's starting to stand on his own, for a few seconds at a time. But he likes to jump so much or crawl so much that practicing with him is nearly impossible, put your hands under his arms and he thinks your going to jump him or let him down in standing position and he goes to the floor to crawl. He's really good at holding his breath as he revs up to cry, the beauty of this is it is usually out of pure stubbornness not pain or sadness. He had his first fever earlier this month, he was definitely sick, poor little guy he was so cuddly and sleepy. And I was a worried Mama, but that is what mamas are for. It was over in less than 3 days and he was back to normal, sadly I missed the cuddle bug that he was when he was sick.

Brion is the new youth pastor at (our church) Hauser Community Church his official start date was February 1, but he'd been easing himself into it all month. He started the month off with a nasty tonsil infection, a touch of a flu and a cold that wouldn't quit. The antibiotics started to help in a day or two, but he had to "call in sick" to HS Youth Group the first night. He's much better now and the lovely white flora that had been growing on his tonsils is gone. (Yes, you may make a face and go "YUCK!")

We are a busy family now. As of right now our schedule is a little crazy outside of the normal work week. Our normal work week consists of roughly the hours of 9-4 Tuesday -Friday, somedays start earlier and end later, and sometimes they start later and end earlier. We also attend church Saturday nights (it's work but we attend service) and work Sundays from 7:30 to 1pm. And now our busy Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday evenings. Tuesday - HS Youth Group, Wednesday - Awana, Thursday - JH Youth Group. All of these run us a few hours, from 6-9ish. Needless to say our Friday nights are pretty special to us.

AND we're moving. Essentially into a parsonage. It is the house of the previous youth pastor and the youth group currently meet in the GRAGE which is actually a large 3 bay garage on the property. We're very excited to move, not excited to pack, but ready to move. It is a 3BD 2BATH house! We'll have a guest room! And space. We have a lovely apartment now but the baby stuff is starting to over run us.

Oh, yes I am still working full time and will be for little while longer, but eventually I will go like 3/4 time and share some of my responsibilities with another person. I am very excited to see who God has picked out for that role!

We are doing some amazing things at the church and mostly we are starting a family ministry. I am so excited about doing ministry the way I see that God has commanded it and reaching out to families to help them raise their children. Instead of just trying to reach the children. It means change and its not always welcome.

Well, that's enough for now. Its taken me long enough to write all this. I should probably go pack a box or two or maybe a nap.... hmmm....

Bathtime

2009-01-06T19:35:00.000-08:00

Titus enjoyed a bubble bath this evening. We took advantage of the opportunity to shoot naked baby bum bath pictures. And then just after his bath I ran into some naked baby bum pictures of Brion and I as wee little ones.

Much to my surpirse. Titus looks more like me than I expected. Unlike most other moms and dads in the world we had not compared our baby pictures with Titus much. Or at all.

And I don't know how old Brion or I are in these pictures.

I like to eat bubbles. A lot.

He really enjoys testing the water. So he'll get on all fours and dip his face in.

Tonight there were so many bubbles in the tubs that all he would get was a face

full of bubbles. I am 99.9% convinced that eating a bunch of Johnson & Johnson No More Tears

Baby Shampoo bubbles won't do much to him. But time will tell.

A baby Brion in the bath.

Such a cutie, but didn't look as much like Titus as I expected.

A baby Rachel, apparently just playing naked in a play pen.

That toy thing in the background...

I totally remember that from when I was a kid.

Family Pictures

2008-12-25T22:02:00.000-08:00

Titus's first candy cane. Yes it is wrapped. :)

Titus and his GREAT-Grandma.

The happy family! It's hard to keep those fingers out of his mouth right now!

Seester and Brother!

Titus and his Grandpa and Grandma.

Titus and his GREAT-Grandparents.

Four Generations of ladies. From left - My Mom, Grandma, Great-Grandma and ME. There are Five generations of us including Titus.

Titus and his GREAT-GREAT Grandma.

The whole family!

Christmas was wonderful! Titus had a blast and enjoyed the whole day with people gushing all over him. More pictures were taken then had been in a many years. And again this year we all said "Wow, we have too many presents." And we did, but can you really have too many?

It was a wonderful Christmas and we truly are thankful for the birth of our Savior.

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-25T21:59:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas from The Spores!

The Biter Biscuits

2008-11-30T21:51:00.000-08:00

I must warn you the following pictures can be quite disturbing if you are not familiar with what a Gerber Biter Biscuit is capable of.

You can purchase this product for a mere $1.82 for just 12 at a Wal-Mart just outside Eugene, Oregon on hwy 126.

Let me set the scene.

It was a Monday. I had just returned the day before from a weekend long trip to Portland with 15 teens and 3 other adults. One of the vans broke down about 2 hours out of town, so we had to rent a vehicle while said broken down van was being fixed in the wonderful town of Drain. And yes I really do mean wonderful and the town really is called Drain.

So on this Monday, Brion and I and Titus were going to drive to Drain pick up the now fixed van, Oh by the way, the wheel almost fell off, God totally saved us, and the Drain Church of Christ gave half of our girls a ride to Eugene from Drain to get to the rental car place. It was totally awesome. And after all that we were only 20 minutes late to the event. Next year - we make it on time.

Ok - so we pick up the fixed van in Drain, take the rental back to Eugene, drop some OCC shoeboxes off and head to find a place to eat. At this point Titus has pretty much been in his carseat all day. He even hangs out in while we have dinner. So as we leave Applebee's (It is always my goal while on the I-5 corrider that I get to eat at mainstream restaurant we don't have in Coos County, not hard to do, although my goal that day had been Red Robin, it was on the other side of town.) We stop at Wal-Mart, Titus is starting to fuss - can you blame him? We pick up some things - I buy him some new bibs and some biter biscuits. I think - and yes I really did think...
My friends have told me these are pretty messy, but Titus does pretty good with graham crackers, he'll probably do okay with these. He can't do it.
The thing is my dear friends really did warn me, but I did not listen. We had two hours to drive still. I didn't think my options were that good. When really I could have just walked over to the grocery side of wal-mart and bought some graham crackers.

BUT I DIDN'T

AND TWO HOURS LATER WHEN WE GOT OUT OF THE CAR

THIS IS WHAT WE DISCOVERED..

Digital Camera Download

2008-11-30T21:35:00.001-08:00

These were all probably taken with in the last 6 weeks or so... I am horrible about taking pictures and then taking them off the camera... seriously and I use to actually have to take them some where and wait for them to develop.

No my Mom and Dad don't let me drive, however Mom did let me play in the driver seat while she was in the passenger seat. Thanksgiving day - waiting for the Turkey Bowl to start. Mom thought they played football with a turkey... she's a turkey herself. It's just a regular community football game thanksgiving morning.

This is the first time my mom and dad let me loose in my toy basket. WOW, all these are mine! They used to just give a toy or two at a time. Now they just tip this over and I go to town. Keeps me entertained for at least 30 minutes.

Not sure on this one. I look tired. This is my play blanket of the carpet, well used to be at least. I can escape off it now. Can you believe for 6 months they had me convinced that if I scooted of this blanket I'd melt?

Now I know better. Ha ha ha.

Yes, I live the good life. They bring me my food in a bottle or they spoon feed it to me. I sit in a reclined seats. If you're quick you can catch me with my arms behind my head like so just soaking it all in.

Oh, the computer, how I long to understand you. This is a fascinating thing to me. I ripped the CTRL key off of mom's and now she doesn't let me sit on her lap anymore while she types. I just wanted to type too. So I watch Dad.

Thankfulness

2008-11-29T09:43:00.000-08:00

We've had a wonderful thanksgiving and have plenty to be thanful for; a healthy baby, our health, provision through God in jobs that we absolutely love, school, each other, our family - I could keep going... but most of all right now I am thankful for the almost 4 full days off from work that we have had. We haven't done much in most people's eyes, we have however accomplished a lot in ours - we have almost reached completion in Lego Batman. We are so very thankful for our 360 and Lego Batman and the connection time it has given us to relax and all be together. AMEN.

He's scooting all over the place and gets up on his knees and revs up to crawl and then back to scooting he goes. Quite the little army crawler if I have anything to say about it.

His bottom front two teeth are in - as you will see in the pictures and his top ones are coming very soon I think - one is almost through. He is such a good little teether though - not a ton of fuss about it so far.

He stands really good and supports his own weight, hasn't quite figured out how to pull himself up - THANK GOD - but he is inches from it....

He's currently in his 6 month clothing, but he fits in everything just perfectly so he'll be stretching it soon. Yes, he is still a skinny tall white boy.

He eats anything we will give him - so he's made it through all the fruit and veggies and started into the meats, he got to have a "Turkey Rice Dinner" with us for thanksgiving. He also loves grahm crackers. This was a hard one for me, because I wanted to buy the teething biscuits but they are so expensive. So we started with grahm crackers instead and he does great with them. Dad loves it too - apparently he is a big grahm cracker fan also.

We had one big oops where I did choose to buy the biter biscuits. Stay tuned for pictures of that fiasco.

Here are some 6 month pics of Titus.

6 Month Check Up

2008-11-11T16:08:00.001-08:00

Titus is officially a healthy six month old.

Today marks his very first 1/2 birthday.

As his 1/2 birthday present he got to go to the doctor.

(We're wonderful parents)

The little man:

weighs in at 15lbs 2.5ozs.

(I'm throwing that .5 on there for my sake)

now measures a whopping 28 inches long.

and doesn't have a pin head.

In the world of percentiles he remains a "skinny white man"

90th for the heighth and 10th for the weight, his head - well it's average.

He's officially cut his front two bottom teeth, almost at exactly the same time. Although the left one peeked through first.

He also got his shots at the doctors. He such a good little man. He cries when he's poked but by the time he's buckled into his car seat he's all better and then he sleeps for at least an hour after we bring him home.

He's amazing! Such a strong, tough little guy!

and the Spores go marching on...

2008-11-07T19:16:00.000-08:00

Brion is currently at a movie with a friend that is only in town for a week or two. Main reason while he has managed to escape the clutches of an evening with his wife.

Titus is currently sleeping at my side and has been doing this pretty much since about 4:45pm. It is now at this very moment 7:18. I would bet money, if I was a bettin' woman, that this might actually be the longest nap my dear son has ever taken.

I am currently writing a blog, as you can read, which I have not done for quite awhile.

I've come across a few things in the past weeks that I think are absolutely fantastic.

1. WOOT.COM

In the search for a tablet for my pc, Brion and I discovered woot.com. We haven't purchased anything from woot, however we are always fascinated to discover what the "deal of the day" is. This discovery has led us to several other "deal of the day" sites. Wow! Fascinating to me. Another one that I sneak peaks at through out the day is steepandcheep.com now this is a site that I have been truly impressed with. I have seen keens and chacos up to 80% off. Among other things; tents, sleeping bags, watches, sunglasses, and knives. And more I am sure. Now, I realize with this deal a day shopping that you must be patient and willing to save - because you must wait to see what you want to buy become available and then you must have the money set aside for it. BUT still I watch.

2. Stuffchristianslike.net

Oh, how I absolutely I adore loving Jesus and being a christian. I was shaped (God shaped me) with a sense of humor. A peculiar sense of humor. It lends itself to the sarcastic side at times. And it can be pretty dry. Because of these things I tend to meld especially well with people that have similar sense of humor.

At this very point - Titus has chosen to join reality again. 7:32 is the official wake time. He has just finished taking the longest nap ever. And he desperately needs a bottle. Off I go. I will return.

Ok. I am back. And now if you haven't visited stuffchristianlike.net yet - please stop what you are doing and go now.

If you are not a christian you may not find some the 430 some odd things that Christians like funny. If you are a christian and if you understand church, please know that the guy writing these things loves Jesus, so don't get on a soap box - just enjoy him and if you don't, just stop reading.

Anyways I discover it by googling (yes it is a verb) church logo, I discover this article. READ HERE.

If you can't make fun of yourself - then just keep on walking I best not have much to do with you.

3. Bring the Rain

I've written about little Audrey Caroline before. And I still check up on the blog from time to time. This time I discovered this article.

Seven prayers a day.

She is praying seven prayers a day for seven days.

Specific prayers for her children.

I'm very encouraged to do this. And so here I share it with you.

1. When they wake up: "Let the morning bring (child's name) word of your unfailing love, for she has put her trust in You. Show (her/him) the way (she/he) should go, for to you (he/she) lifts up her soul." (Adapted from Psalm 143:8)

2. When they are getting dressed: "Therefore, as God's chosen child, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Lord, help (him/her) bear with others and forgive whatever grievances (he/she) has against others. Help (him/her) forgive as the Lord forgave (him/her). And over all these virtues, help (him/her) put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." (Adapted from Colossians 3:12-14)

3. While they are eating: "Teach (child's name) the secret of being content in any and every situation whether well-fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. Teach (him/her) that (he/she) can do everything through him who gives (him/her) strength." (Adapted from Philippians 4:12-13)

4. When they go out of the house: "(Name of child), do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-His good, pleasing and perfect will." (Adapted from Romans 12:2)

5. While they are taking a bath: Lord, give (name of child) clean hands and a pure heart, and let (him/her) not lift (his/her) soul to an idol or swear by what is false. Let (him/her) receive blessing from the Lord and vindication from God (his/her) Savior. Let (him/her) be part of the generation of those who seek him, who seek your face, O God of Jacob. (Adapted from Psalm 24:4-6)

6. When they are going to bed: "The Lord Your God is with you; he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, be will rejoice over you with singing." (Zephaniah 3:17)

7. While they are sleeping: "I pray that (name of child) will do everything without complaining or arguing, so that he/she may become blameless and pure, a child of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which he/she shines like a star in the universe as he/she holds out the word of life-in order that he/she may boast on the day of Christ that he/she did not run or labor for nothing." (Adapted from Philippians 2:14-16)

As for an update on the Spores, if that's what you were hoping for, you will have to wait till Veteran's day. As that is little Mr. Titus Matthew Spore's 6 month birthday - and yes 1/2 birthday's are a big deal around here - and he has his 6 month well check that day also. So don't worry you'll get the stats.

BUT because I can't resist - He's two bottom teeth are coming in. We can feel and see them! My little man's first right of passage. Well at least to me it is.

Mr. Titus has finished his bottle, is awake and is suppose to go to bed in 7 minutes... oh well. It's Friday.

Titus Update

2008-09-29T22:27:00.000-07:00

Here are some of my most recent and most newly favorite pictures of Mr. Titus.

Today Mr. Titus had his 4 month well check. He's officially 4 1/2 months, but I didn't call and make the appointment in time. Anyways...

Our little guy...

weighs 14.5 lbs
is 26.5 inches long
has a head circumference of
43 cm
and is in pretty darn good health

As far as percintiles go - and I am fascinated by them - he is in the 95% for his enormously large nogin. The 90% for his length and 50% for his weight.

He is officially eating rice cereal and we have the go ahead to continue to introduce new foods. grains, veggies and fruits. Wow - babies grow very fast.

He eats like a zillion gallons of formula a day or maybe just five (to six) 7oz. bottles. Sometimes it seems we can't feed him fast enough. He eats every 2.5-3.5 hours but is sleeping sometimes up to 12 hours at night. Yes, we think we know how lucky we are.

We've been seeing some signs of teething and doc said today he thought maybe he felt a one coming on on the right ridge. We shall see. We've also been seeing the fussy times that come along with that - we think. We are first timers at all of this, afterall.

Brion and I have been incredibly busy this month, we think maybe its mellowing out - but I am not convinced of much. We shall see. Ministry keeps us going. and going. and going. and going.

The wheels on the bus & more...

2008-09-06T17:35:00.001-07:00

Oh, Mr. Titus can giggle. But he only chooses to do this when he absolutely wants to.

Today during a round of The Wheels on the Bus he started to crack up, so I continued into a round of If You're Happy and You Know It and then on repeat each one again, enjoying the giggles of my son the whole time.

Then, A HA, I need more kid songs, I know I know more - why can't I think of them. I stumbled onto this site in my search. A HA! So Titus continued to get a round of The Animal Fair, Ants Go Marching, The Bear in Tennis Shoes AND THEN... he melted. 110% over stimulated by his Mom. Poor kid. This is what happens when his Dad goes away, Mom overstimulates him too much. If only this was the first time this had happened this weekend.

Noticed I had only made it to the B's.

So I cuddled him until he calmed back down. He played on the floor with his toys until he over stimulated himself. And now he resides in his swing, binky in mouth, (nevermind he spit it out again) and hanging out. He loves his swing.

Back to the site. When I found this site I was incredibly intrigued because it is a .gov site - because of this there are no lyrics to This Little Light of Mine or Jesus Loves the Little Children or so on... but that's ok. We sing those plenty. However, there are some wierd little facts or warnings with some of the songs. Take Big Rock Candy Mountain, with lines about ciggarette trees and a lake of gin, the gov website warns "In addition, smoking and alcohol addictions are extremely harmful to your health; and no situation will be improved by having easy access to cigarettes or alcohol, as promised in the fictional (and extremely unhealthy!) Big Rock Candy Mountains" This will be a song that Titus and I will not be singing.

Since I have sat him down and come back to the site- I have rediscoved the following; Clementine, Do Your Ears Hang Low, The Farmer in the Dell, Five Little Ducks, The Green Grass Grew All Around, I'm A Little Teapot, I've Been Working on the Railroad, Oh Suzanna, On Top of Spaghetti and Zip-a-dee-do-dah.

A HA!

It takes...

2008-09-05T21:14:00.001-07:00

I've recently been chewing on the saying "it takes a village to raise a child" I am not referring to HRC's book or speech. At all, just chewing on the saying. More so I'm faced with Brion is one person, I am one person - Together we are one. So we add up to two, somehow. Not even close to a village.

Right now we have one child. Titus has grandmas and grandpas, he even has a great-grandma and great-grandpa and a great-great grandma. (Yes, so far the women in my family live forever). However, Brion's side of the family resides in other states (mainly Texas and Oklahoma, although Nana lives in Washington). Mine lives here. And we're close and we see each other at least weekly, however they are not involved in the day to day raising of Titus. It is Brion and I. And that is "normal".

As a children's ministry director I believe in "partnering with parents to encourage them to grow, love and disciple their children." Mainly because I and the ministry team see a child a maximum of 3.5 hours a week. The amount of time a parent spends their son or daughter, talking and walking life with them is at least 10 times that each week. And that's a minimum, of a kid that's say in sports till 5pm every night. So all we can do is partner. We can't do it and it's not our responsibility - its the parent's.

And as I imagine Brion and I's future in ministry I realize more and more how important that partnership can be. Children's Ministry at Hauser by no means takes the place of parent's spiritual guidance but I am looking forward to the partnership Titus, Brion and I will have with the ministries each one of us will be in now and as we grow older. Hopefully continuing to further us on in our walk of faith so that we can be a more Godly family, Godly wife, mother, father, husband, child.

I might not have a village but I have a church. And with in that church I have village, call it extended family call it whatever you want - it's my village that is going to partner with us to raise our child. It's not an equal partnership, and maybe support is a better word. But our church will always be there.

I am reading Grace-based Parenting and I read something in it today that struck me...

One of the primary roles that God gave parents is to create adults who reflect His heart. A family is, without a doubt, the most effective and efficient vehicle to produce the kind of people who can move confidently into the adult world and have a redemptive impact on the culture- that's what we are supposed to be doing.

So why aren't we?

Why is the world we're living in getting more and more secular? Why have we gotten to the point that our culture has become extremely antagonistic toward us living out our faith in the public arena? Why has our culture turned more hedonistic? There are many explanations that people offer as answers to these questions. The standard one is to blame Satan, but that doesn't add up. He hasn't been sleepwalking for the past two thousand years and suddenly awakened. There was something holding him back. The was one fortress that he had a difficult time penetrating: a good, solid family. Parents armed with little more that a vibrant relationship with God consistently served as the ideal springboard for great people. So something changed....

The whole thought just struck me. The idea that we (our culture) had been fighting down the devil with the family... and we've slowly let him in.

I witness this all over in families in ministry. In conversations with parents, and teens and kids and especially in the teens - when they are in the age to be owning their faith, steps away from becoming adults and they are miles away from being an adult that reflects God's heart.

It breaks my heart. I believe it the fault of the parents but I do not let the church off the hook. For not holding families accountable. For not calling them out.

The name of our new mom's group at Hauser is 242 and this is from 2 Timothy 4:2 and three words have struck the core of me from this verse:

CORRECT, REBUKE AND ENCOURAGE

I think church's in 2008 are guilty of NOT doing this. I think we encourage to often with correcting or rebuking. The following has also struck me to the core...

WITH GREAT PATIENCE AND CAREFUL INSTRUCTION

Patience is a scary word. There's a good ol funny thought that comes with patience for me. It's a good giggle I get. Don't ask God for patience unless you are prepared for him to teach you patience. I think I kicked Brion one time when he was praying and asked God to give us patience. I even have some people in my life that are very own personal Patience Professors - I am convinced God has put them in my life to teach me patience.

Yet this verse says with GREAT patience. That's lots of patience. Not just a little not just the bare minimum. But with great patience.

So I am have been convicted of correcting, rebuking, encouraging with great patience and careful instruction. What does this look like? I am not sure exactly, but He'll show me...

And I sure blog a whole lot while my husband is away. And my downstairs neighbors slams her door ALOT - another patience professor in my life.

I give you...

2008-09-02T20:05:00.000-07:00

So Mr. Titus is rolly polly man now. And LOVES... LOVES... LOVES... to sleep on his tummy now. The first night I proceeded to flip him over three separate times before giving up. Every time I flip him back on to his back, he immediately rolls over to his tummy.

There are two things that they repeat to you incessantly at the hospital when you get there, while you are there and before you leave...
1. Does anyone in your house smoke?
2. Do you know to put your baby to sleep on his back?
All of this to point out the signs of SIDS.
Eventually, I would just tell the nurse; as she walked up to me with the forms; "No one in our house smokes, and I will not put my baby to sleep on his tummy."

NOW - I am left with little choice. He has no fluffy blankets in his crib, no stuffed animals, we have an approved mattress and so on...

I could get those side supporter things that force your baby to sleep on his side, but I don't want to torture him. So I am left with leaving it up to God. Or giving him up to God. Over and over.

So thankful for my husband who takes my "I just want to look at him" multiple checks into his room before I go to bed with absolute grace.

(Just went to "look" at him. He's sleeping on his side,with one leg tossed over the other. >>Sigh<<>

All of this started sometime mid last week. So I have been sharing it with everyone I come in contact with... merely to just receive the comfort a first time mom gets with "Yes, mine did that too."

While sharing this with my pastor, he subtly reminded me of a time that he was reminded that no matter what no parent can be there every minute of every day, you have to remember that they are God's.

I've relinquish myself to God on a daily, hourly, by minute basis for years. Why is it so easy for my apparently selfish self to remember to give Titus over to him?

I never was able to imagine how Abraham felt as he went with Isaac up that mountain... OR was able to really imagine how God felt as he sacrificed his ONE and ONLY son.... It is incredibly hard for my measly earthly brain and heart to wrap some emotion around it.

It wasn't quite obvious to me after my conversation with Pastor J that God was reminding my heart of relinquishing my little man back to Him.

So I went to church. During worship - we sang the song "I give you me"

While I was sing God changed it from me to Titus...

I stand amazed at Your awesomeness
That You would love and guide me
That You have taken all my sorrows
And promised me a beautiful tomorrow
I give you Titus, all that I have
Not holding back but every part
All that he is and that I hope him to be
Lord I am blessed when I give You Titus
What can I say to tell You thank you
What can I do to show my heart
For what You've done and who You are
Oh Lord, I give You Titus

So maybe a little weeping. But I was beginning to understand His point. Understand the lesson he was teaching me.

The next afternoon I stumbled across a friend's blog and was in turn pointed to this one.

http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/

Its a story to read when you might not be as empty emotionally as you need to be. When you might need to be reminded of the rain. I took over a few days, tried to avoid the rampid tears as they fell, and not subject my dear husband to it.

And I finished it this morning. Titus had woken up at 7am and Daddy wanted to keep sleeping - so Titus and I crawled in into our comfy chair, turned on the heating/vibrating pad and curled up with this amazing testimony. Towards the end - Titus fell asleep in my arms, just because... He wasn't sqwauky or anything - he just fell asleep. I already miss my teeny tiny little man that just cuddled all the time. It was refreshing and cleansing to weep with my baby in my arms. To know that if his life was on the line, I'm not sure I would understand, not sure I would be able to think everything would be ok - BUT I would know that Jesus would be the same through it all, yesterday, today and tomorrow. He wouldn't change.

I can't even kind of imagine loosing a child. I can barely think "my" child in that sentence.

(as if my little guy know where his Momma's heart is at tonight, I just went to "look" at him again, and he's sleeping on his back, for the first time in days.)

And I am done. I've renewed all the emotion in me. I encourage everyone to read story of Audrey Caroline and I have a new form of heros and if I ever start that photography hobby I'd like I want to, I don't want to do what they do but I think I would have to.

I can't sum it up any other way - or try to use words other than the friend who's blog directed me to this one. This is how she described her encounter with Audrey Caroline and I have to agree a 100%. "But oh, the reward--of experiencing a sister's encounter with Jesus that is real, raw, excruciatingly painful, and-- strangely, seemingly contradictorally-- full of life and hope."

It's official - He rolls.

2008-08-19T21:31:00.000-07:00

Here is the first official video of Mr. Titus Matthew Spore rolling over, you'll have to excuse the fact that he starts on his side. That's how he does it, he gets up on his side from being on his back and then rolls over to his tummy. Once on his tummy he does not last long, however he is holding his head up really well and will also rock up on his tummy.

Also, tonight while holding him as he fussed at me (pretty sure his Dad and I had over stimulated him) he covered my mouth as he fell asleep. It was pretty stinking cute, almost his way of saying "Stop talking so much Mom, and leave me alone sometimes." He is so his father.

Oh and I've been meaning to tell on him... in my nightly "check on my son before I fall asleep routine" I caught this... not only was he not asleep, but his finger ALL the way up his nose - by the time I ran back in the room with the camera - his finger was no longer totally in his nose but you can just imagine...

And while I am at it... and posting random silly pictures of my child. Here is the first time we caught him laying on his side. He had fallen asleep. Never thought I would think a picture of my child's back was so important to share. :)

Titus Rolled Over...

2008-08-19T17:01:00.000-07:00

I am pretty sure Titus just rolled over for the first time ever!

We weren't paying any attention of course. So we totally missed it.

Brion was in the bathroom. I was sitting in the chair using my laptop. Titus was on the floor on his back on his play mat activity gym thing.

When Brion came out of the bathroom he started talking to Titus so I moved the computer aside and looked AND HE WAS ON HIS TUMMY!!!

I asked Brion if he moved him and he hadn't. Brion asked me if I had layed him down for tummy time. I said "NO, I put him on his back so he could play with his toys!" (He's recently learned how to grab onto things like the toys that hang from his activity gym play mat thing)

So then, of course, for the next 15 minutes we hung over him with the video camera going hoping to catch the next roll over... did it happen? OF COURSE NOT!

We have noticed steps leading up to this, just last night I went into to say one last good night, or do my paranoid mother check before I went to bed and HE WAS SLEEPING ON HIS SIDE! I couldn't believe it! So apparently he is getting there...

Brion is currently in the process of getting him onto his side and then trying to let him roll over from there. He's not really coooerating, but he seems to be having a good time. And I know Daddy is....

Like Father Like Son

2008-08-13T21:44:00.000-07:00

There's been no question for the moment Titus was concieved who his father is.

And from the moment he was born people have said he looks like his dad.

In fact people would stare at me and then at Titus, they would do this back forth a couple time, and then Brion would walk up next to us and put his arm around me. All of a sudden this light bulb would go off in thier mind, their eyes would light up and as if they'd discovered something new and exciting they would exclaim "OH, he looks like his Dad!" It actually sounds like this "OOOHHH, he looooooooks like his daaaaaaaaaaad!" Why they would always drag out the words looks and dad, I do not know.

When we had our family pictures taken the other night both Brion and I were surprised at how red Titus's hair appeared in some of the pictures. Especially this one...

Its not that we don't look at our son's hair - we do a lot actually. It's just that it had never looked quite that red before and had never been so exaclty the same color as Brion's goatee.

However, that was Monday night - so this morning - Wednesday - was one of those morning where neither Brion or I could really open our eyes and get moving, we were just exhausted, not sure if that had anything to do with not getting back from Eugene until 10pm or maybe the hour or so of Olympics we watched during Titus's 4:30am feeding (a little earlier than normal). So when Titus started squawking at 6:30am he got stuck between mom and dad in our bed so we could all continue sleeping. And then when 7:30am reared its ugly head I practically begged Brion if he would shower first so I could sleep just a little longer. And then at 8am I drug myself out of bed to the shower. I thanked Brion for letting me sleep in a little bit and even asked him to get the diaper bag ready for the babysitters while I showered, which he was doing already because he is RAD. Well when I got out of the shower this is what I found...

Well much to my astonishment - they were laying the exact same way. Snoozing away. I think I may have even accused Brion of setting it up. However, he swears Titus had both arms down when he laid down next to him.

Like father like son. Boy, am I going to have my hands full!

Identifying Blessings

2008-08-11T23:05:00.000-07:00

Brion and I are not rich. We work for the Lord not for a paycheck. We struggle in the area of finances and continue to try to balance our budget.

There is one thing we are incredibly blessed with that we could never ever afford. Well, there is more than just one thing. But this one thing happens to be the photography of one

Miss Ashley, who is becoming an incredibly dear friend.

As we were driving to our "photo shoot" downtown, not inside a stuffy, expensive studio we could never afford, although it wouldn't suprise me if someday she had one - but it wouldn't be stuffy - OR - placing my child and family in front of the cheesy background at Walmart and shelling out the 40 some odd bucks it would cost - that of which we can't really afford either - but instead we were driving to down town Coos Bay to enjoy an outside photo shoot with an absolutely incredible "amatuer" photographer.

I don't know when you go from "amatuer" to professional but I fear it won't be long before she does.

Regardless, this is one of the many ways God chooses to bless the Spore family incredibly. Through pictures. Pictures we would never have and could never afford, if A. wasn't letting God use her.

Here's a sneak peak from this evening's shoot.

ON another note Mr. Titus is exactly 3 months today AND officially took a short nap in his crib today AND is currently sleeping the night away in his crib for the first time. I believe he is officially transistioned out of his bassinet and into his crib. A few weeks ago we tried to make this transistion only to deal with screaming, in which we chose to place the bassinet top part thing inside the crib. This apparently had helped.

Well at 3 months, he coos but does not laugh, plays with both his hands, grabs things like his shirt, or blanket or whatever he can grip that his hands bump into, he puts his hands in his mouth, we think he is intentionally grabbing whatever toy we hang above him in his little activity gym, he can sit supported, and even hangs out in his bumbo chair for awhile, he still hates tummy time but he is an incredibly good kid.

another week in the life of the Spores

2008-08-09T09:53:00.001-07:00

Last week was, I've got to admit, what seemed like the busiest week in ministry ever.

Sunday was church. Is always church. And is a busy time in general. Hence, why my day off is Monday. Much needed day of recuperation. If the nap taken Sunday afternoon is not enough and it usually isn't.

Then Monday came and we loaded up the church van full of teenagers and headed to a small town about 45 minutes away to put on a VBS. We did this from 8am to 1pm. Monday was not a day off.

Monday evening we had a BFC meeting.

Tuesday morning we did the same as Monday.

Tuesday evening, dinner at Taco Bell with a favorite family.

Wednesday, Brion did the same as Monday and Tuesday. I went out to the church and had a game day with my kiddos. It was good.

Wednesday evening. We are so tired we are not sure we can continue to make it.

Thursday - same thing as Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday - although I have joined Brion again.

Thursday evening. Jr. High Youth Group. Brion takes them sandboarding, Titus and I get a BBQ going at the park.

Friday morning. Last day of VBS in Fairveiw. Extra long day as we had a BBQ afterwards.

Friday evening. Family Game Night at the church. My event. Exhausted. Went well. Still have some tear down to do. Because at 9:15 we just had to leave.

We left our little man with a babysitter each day this week and that was rough. But next week will be a little better.

Monday, Titus will be 3 months old. And we are having family pictures taken. Yahoo.

The Night You Were Born

2008-07-27T21:01:00.001-07:00

In an incredible effort to give Titus a bedtime routine that does not include the effort of giving him a bath every night. Kudos to those parents but I don't want to do it. I have come up with the same bedtime story for his routine every night.

We read...

I now know this story by heart and it goes a little something like so...

On the night you were born, the moon smiled with such wonder that the stars peeked in to see you and the night wind whispered "life will never same" for there had never been anyone like you ever in the world.
So enchanted with you were the wind and the rain that they whispered the sound of your wonderful name. It sailed through the farmland high on the breeze, over the ocean and through the trees, until everyone heard and everyone knew of the one and only ever you.
Not once had there been such eyes, such nose and such, silly, wiggly, wonderful toes.
When the polor bears heard, they danced until dawn. From far away places the geese flew home. The moon stay up until morning next day. The ladybugs landed and decided to stay.
So whenever you doubt just how special you are and you wonder who loves you how much and how far. Just listen to geese honking high in the sky, they're singing a song to remember you by. And notice the bears asleep at the zoo, it's because they've been dancing all night for you. Or drift off to sleep to the sound of the wind, listen closely it's whispering your name again.
If the moon stays up until morning one day. Or a lady bug lands and decides to stay. Or a little bird sits at your window awhile. It's because they're all hoping to see you smile.
For never before in story or rhyme. Not even once upon time. Has the world ever know a you, my son. And it never will, not ever again.
Heaven blew every trumpet and played every horn, on the wonderful, marvelous morning you were born.
Most of the time this works, our wonderful little man goes to bed around 8pm every evening. Every once in awhile the story and the prayer time that follows is not enough and after a few minutes of cries I go back in and sing one of two songs.
Raindrops on Roses or My Jesus My Savior
Why just those two songs? Well, my Mom sang Raindrops on Roses to me.... and well My Jesus My Savior - it was the only worship song I could come up with to sing so many times when I desperately needed to worship while attempting to soothe a newborn. We would sing it over and over again. And change all the I's to We's.

Titus & His Buddy Seth

2008-07-27T18:12:00.000-07:00

Look how big I am getting!

2008-07-27T18:10:00.000-07:00

My first time in my swing, look at how little I am. It's May 29th and I am 18 days old.

Look at me now! Mom took this on July 24th. I am 74 days old.
I almost fill up the whole swing! But it's still my favorite place to nap!

Titus Take on Tummy Time

2008-07-27T17:59:00.000-07:00

Mom places me on my tummy, supports my shoulders with the boppy pillow, places the incredibly fun tummy time mirror in front of me so I may someday discover the "baby in the mirror". I then choose to lie face flat into boppy pillow where I gnaw on it and create a huge wet spot until I have managed to work up enough angst that I propell myself forward, knocking over the tummy time mirror and ending up with my face almost on the carpet. The entire time I have managed to basically choose to not lift my head in any direction, forcing Mom to choose NO on the form at the doctor's office when it asked "Does child lift head 90 degrees when lying on his tummy?"

I believe he can, but that he refuses to. He is after all bound to be as obstinate as his father and mother are, right?

Two Month Well Check

2008-07-26T09:15:00.001-07:00

Titus had his two month well check yesterday. I had pretty much been dying to know how much our little guy wieghed and how long he was. A few weeks ago at church, something changed. People stopped saying "Oh, he's sooooooo little." And they had been saying it since he was carried through the doors at 6 days old. This blessed kid hasn't missed church yet.

Extreme empahsis on the so. I would almost get offended and calmly remind the person that most children were born between 6-8lbs and mine was 7lbs, making him completely average.

But when they stopped talking about how little he was, they started talking about how "he was soooooo big and sooooooooo long". This always left me thinking "Will our little man ever just be normal?"

But the long comment had me intrigued. Was my little guy really that long?

I'd picked up one of those snake/worm toys that has a 24 inch ruler on the underside of it at a garage sale brought it home, and my dear sweet child was an inch or two longer than the snake.

I did learn- the fun kids toy snake is not a good measuring tool.

The verdict:
At 11 weeks old
Titus

weighs: 11 lbs. 13 ozs. (25th-50th percentile)
height: 24.5 inches long (75th - 90th percentile)

Dr. Yost said. "Yep, he's a skinny, tall white boy"

All in all we didn't have much concerns to talk to the doctor about. He's a good kid. No wierdness to report. I suppose he's just pretty average. I am convinced that is exactly what God knew we could handle.

Doc even said "He's perfect."

So we can't really complain much.

He also got his first round of immunizations. Oh boy, was that an annoying decision.
So I gave up and just pretty much said give him all of them.

The only one I was really chewing on was hep B. But I signed him up for all of them.

However, the nurse only poked him twice - because apparently there is a state wide outage of hep B shots.

When Titus had his circumcision done, the doctor brought him out to us and we asked how our little two week old had done and the doc said he had a high pain tolernace. The doctor said he just knew certain cries and Titus had a high pain tolerance.

I think I saw it in action during the shots. Brion was down in his face "sssshhhing" and comforting him and he wailed and showed his little tomato face during the shots, but he as soon as Brion picked him up he stopped crying and didn't really cry again for the rest of the day. No fever from the shots, no extra fussiness, just lots of naps. He's a good kid.

To view pics of Titus - http://picasaweb.google.com/BrionandRachel

Day 1 With Out Husband

2008-07-07T21:38:00.000-07:00

When I was pregnant and hormonally crazy I wondered A LOT about how 16 year olds managed being pregnant, I know how they managed to get pregnant, but how did they manage being pregnant.

While pregnant, I was not my usual self. And in the last trimester I most certainly was not my usual self.

I relied on Brion so much while pregnant. Mostly because I could. But I am not convinced that I could have done it by myself.

He was the one I shared everything gross about being pregnant with, the one that would let me cry on his shoulders, the one to go get me some crazy food craving in the middle of the night, well late evening. He was everything a husband should be.

Then, we had a baby. WE. And then I REALLY wondered how the teenagers of this world handle being a single mom. For the first few weeks I was not convinced I could handle it even with an incredibly supportive husband.

Now, with him gone. Even if it is just a mere 15 hours so far, I get a small glimpse of the immense things that he does for Titus and I.

Even just as small BUT HUGE as emptying the Diaper Genie (which I had actually never done). I'm pretty sure that I managed to do it correctly.

And then there is taking the garbage out. This is no small feat. While cleaning today, I managed to rack up 3 bags of garbage. OH, and I still didn't emptying the bathroom garbage. When I have to actually empty the can myself, which is few and far between I set the bags in a bin right outside our front door, my wonderful husband then walks them across the parking lot into the dumpster.

Now, when I left the house today, and walked past the garbage bags I thought I should take those to the dumpster. However, child AND carseat, purse and diaper bag and bag of things to return to Wal-Mart, I thought how am I suppose to do that. So I didn't.

Then I came home, looked again at the bags of garbage and with child in hand screaming "feed me, feed me, feed me" I again passed them by.

I fed said child, put him to bed, read him his good night story, prayed, turned on the montitor and walked out the door.

I then happened to glance out our sliding glass door to see this....

So I watched and listened to the raccoons for awhile. In awe of such nature right outside my sliding glass door. I knew I was a safe distance from them and they weren't scared of me or my flashing camera.

And then - I remembered the garbage. It would only take 3 baby raccoons and a mama raccoon so long to sniff out what something in one of those three bags of garbage.

So, I did the unthinkable. I locked the front door, grabbed the garbage walked across the parking lot and threw it away. And when I got back Titus was still in his basinet and still squirming.

I miss you, husband.

Merry-Go-Round

2008-07-07T14:10:00.000-07:00

From the bouncer to my arms from my arms to the bassinet from the bassinet to my arms to the floor back to the bouncer back to the swing back to the bassinet back to my arms back to the swing - this is the merry-go-round we are living today.

In between it all I try desperately to get my house ready for company on Wednesday.

Brion is at camp for two weeks. He left early this morning.

I already dread the night. I almost look forward to Titus' middle of the night feedings because Brion and I wake up together - I get the baby he gets the bottle. We watch a little something and speak noise to each other not words because apparently we can not open our mouth all the way to enunciate in the middle of the night. And after Mr. Titus is fed I put him back in his crib and we fall back asleep together.

I know I can handle the middle of the night feedings myself BUT they will just be so boring. And right now, knowing I am not anticipating anyone coming home today... It's just a little sad.

And of course Titus is a little extra fussy today. Hence, our merry-go-round of bouncer, swing, bassinet, arms, floor. Right now he's currently sleeping in his swing, seems to be the only place he will nap today. And I don't want to fight him. He falls asleep so good in his bassinet at night, doesn't particulary like to do it during the day but I can't complain too much.

Back to the cleaning...

Rules of the Titus @ 8 weeks

2008-07-06T10:08:00.000-07:00

1. Please don't cover my feet with a blanket. I do not like this and will kick it off.

2. Bouncers are good ONLY if they vibrate.

3. I enjoy sleeping sideways in my bassinet, even if I do look all squished up.

4. I will sleep when I want to sleep. Go ahead try to wake me up when I want to be sleeping.

5. Someday, Mom, you will stop squeezing newborn onesies over my big nogin, in the mean time every time you do I will scream.

6. It is not my fault Mom fails more often than Dad at putting the diaper on correctly AND making sure everything is pointing in the right direction.

7. Go ahead, put me in a nice outfit, take me in public and don't put a bib on me - I will spit up. ALOT.

8. When I am chewing on my entire hand - it most likely means I am hungry. Seriously, I am trying to eat my whole hand - feed me. Or I will scream.

9. I like it when Dad "sssssshhhhhhhhhhhh's" me. It calms me down almost immediately. Mom, you are okay at it, but Dad is the master.

10. The carseat. Oh, the carseat. It is great, sometimes, and only when it's moving. Please don't leave me in it for longer than a millisecond with out it moving or I will scream again.

11. I love snugling up in Dad and Mom's arms or on thier chest to fall asleep, but you keep putting me in my bassinet before I fall asleep. Not fair.

12. I refuse to coo or ooo, or make sweet little baby noises. I am a man, Mom, and I will only grunt and squawk. Be happy with the smiles you get.

Pics of Titus (7 weeks old)

2008-06-28T11:33:00.000-07:00

Taken 6/27/08 at Mingus Park by our super awesome photographer Ashley!

See more at

www.perspectivephotography.blogspot.com

What I've learned in the last 7 weeks

2008-06-27T22:11:00.000-07:00

Seven weeks ago this Sunday, I gave birth to my first child.

One week ago I attended my TEN year high school reunion.

Two days ago I accomplished ten months of marriage.

1. Water does not break like it does in the movies. It does not break once. If the child inside has not dropped it will continue to break over and over again all day. Gross.

2. Epidural does make labor pain free. And getting an epidural is incredibly uncomfortable.

3. No one tells you about the pressure. Pressure isn't pain. It is a completely different category.

4. I was not the woman I expected myself to be in labor. I screamed, grunted, swore to never have kids, shushed my husband from praying, almost prayed for a c-section, BUT I never said a bad word.

5. No one can ever explain to you how incredibly hard it is to be a mom or a dad. People tried. I still had no idea.

6. No one can ever explain to you how incredibly wonderful it is to be a mom or dad. People tried. I still had no idea.

7. The first time he smiled at me, and I really felt like he had, I cried.

8. OH! The baby blues... WOW... I wept for no reason. They lasted for a couple weeks, and I wasn't sure they would end. AGAIN... caught by surprise.

9. They tell you to count on wearing your maternity clothes out of the hospital, no problem. BUT someone could have told me I wouldn't be able to wear my shoes out of the hospital. My feet and ankles and calves were VERY swollen for a week.

10. "Failing" at breastfeeding is devastating. Especially when my body was at fault.

11. Really understanding that all of Titus' days were written before he was born and mine too and that I didn't "FAIL" at breastfeeding - Absolutely Amazing!!!

12. I CAN take the baby out in public, to the store, to a restaurant, to the park, even to work. And I can do it by myself.

13. It is way easier to do it not by myself, and especially with Dad.

14. Brion is more of a Dad then I ever imagined him being.

15. We have almost survived our first year of marriage, so far we have survived a pregnancy, child birth, and the first few weeks of newborn baby. We can do ANYTHING! And I am more in love with him everyday!

16. Cheap carnations are the best flowers because they last the longest. (More bang for your buck!) And... my husband does his best to make sure there are always fresh ones in the house for me!

17. 10 year high school reunions are not really all they are cracked up to be.

18. Everyone has now convinced me that my 20 year reunion will be so much better.

19. Is semi-formal really a hard concept to understand?

20. I would not trade my life for anything. Would not change the slightest piece of it. I have a wonderful husband, an amazing baby, good church - good jobs. We're not perfect and we have lots of faults. But we love Jesus and almost everynight my husband holds me in his arms and prays for me and our family and that is more than I could ever ask for.

Too Much Fun

2008-06-11T17:46:00.001-07:00

16 days old

2008-06-04T11:06:00.000-07:00

Labor & Delivery Story

2008-06-01T10:47:00.000-07:00

I have been meaning to share my l&d story for quite awhile...

On Saturday May 10, I was exactly 39 weeks pregnant according to my calculations. I had just kissed my husband goodbye and sent him off to his men's mentoring group, it was 6:20am. I, still curled up in bed, was determined to snuggle in the big bed (it is a small bed at 9 months pregnant with two people in it and since husband had departed and it was going to be a while before I got up to go garage sale-ing with my mom, it was a big bed for the moment). I situated myself lengthwise across the bed and curled up with the morning news. I heard Brion start the van.... and then I felt a "gush".

hmm.... I thought to myself, that was NEW. For those of you that have been pregnant, you know that lots of new things happen.... and well I hadn't felt a "gush".

So I laid there a few more seconds, and then another "gush".

Ok. Fine. I got out of my snuggle bed and went to check out this gush stuff. Sure, enough, my water had broken.

7 phone calls later to a husband who happened to have his phone on silent, and 1 call to the hospital to find out if I had to come in immediately and to get permission to take a shower. Brion arrived back at the apartment and we hurriedly finished packing the hospital bag and off we were.

We arrived at the hospital just after 7:30am (it's literally 3 minutes away from us) and I let the nurses know that I had arrived. They proceeded to take me to the "are you really in labor room?". The entire time I am still "gushing". Because you see my wonderful little man never "dropped" I never experienced the "lightening phase" or the ability to suddenly breathe easier, because my little man was still firmly jammed under my right set of ribs. SO... when your water breaks, the baby's head is suppose to help clog the hole and well since little man was still floating so high I just continued to gush water, pretty much all day. ALL DAY.

So back to the nurses who are "checking" to make sure my water has broken... well, they give me my little gown to put on and are getting ready to strap me in to all the "are you really in labor" equipment... and I gushed amniotic fluid all the way from the bathroom to the bed, with which they promptly said "OK, you're admitted."

So room 4 becomes my home. I think at this point Brion and I are in complete disbelief that we are actually going to have a baby that day. A little intense. My maternity leave was starting that Monday, I was looking forward to having a couple days off to be miserably pregnant at home. I had seriously just finished 3 weeks of intense events at church that were my responsibility. And with each person who had said "What if the baby comes early?" I had replied "God knows this baby can't come till after May 9th" and on May 10th it started.

I was still incredibly comfortable, well 9 months pregnant with stuff gushing out of you comfortable, but no contractions. I had been a little over 1 cm dilated and 80% effaced at my last doctor's appointment and was hoping for better news when they checked me but nope they said the same thing. And even better - I was ot having any contractions.... well real small incredibly irregular ones.

And then I find out that Dr. Male Doctor Who Is On Call will be seeing me shortly, so that means that Dr. Female Who I Have Been Seeing For The Last Nine Months will not be there to deliver my baby. This, all though I knew it was possible, is incredibly disconcerting for me. I purposely chose a female doctor and never imagined that SHE would not be delievering my baby.

Well when Dr. Male shows up, he says the word "pitocin" and I respond with the word "epidural". He says "Let's have a baby by sundown" hmmm, that's a good 12 hours from now I can handle that.

So the pitocin starts... slowly... and the contractions start barely. I have ordered my epidural by now, not to have the medicine put in but to get the epidural line put in so that when my pitocin contractions get started, really started, the medicine can get put right in.

So while we wait Brion makes all kind of phone calls, we're giddy and nervous, we play a game of crib. And then roughly noonish "Charlie the epidural man" shows up. He is a older man, small in stature with a very careful voice. I trust him not to paralyze me.

I have my husband and nurse #2 of the day, Joy, and we start this epidural process.... WHICH does not go as easy I thought it would. So two hours later of me keeping my back curled in a C position, my head down, and fearing paralyzation or having to have this baby with out an epidural. So two hours later the epidural is in, the test medicine goes in, my blood pressure crashes, they get it back up to an acceptable range and start the pitocin again...

AND nothing happens, not a single contraction for hours. I think I might be maybe 2cm by now, I can't remember,
they won't check me very often because my water is broken and they don't want to risk infection. Which if fine, whatever.

At 5pm... my contractions... finally... start. and they start to hurt. I am finally dialated closer to 4 so the epidural medicine gets puts in. AHHHHHHHHHHH... pain free. I can feel my tummy harden with each contraction and watch them on the monitor. Oh, pretty sure I have internal monitors on by now, Praise the Lord, I was so tired of having those things around me. And with epidural medicine comes catheter. So I have internal heartbeat monitor, internal contraction monitor, and a catheter, oh and little man still has not dropped enough to stop my water from continually "breaking".

10:30pm, they start antibiotics for me and the little man since he's been in an unsterile environment for so long.

From about 5pm to 1am...ish. I continue to have contractions and stay pretty comfortable and I am thinking "who really wants to do this with out an epidural?' about 1am or so... the "PRESSURE" starts... OH, it's now Sunday, May 11 - Mother's Day.

Now... PRESSURE...
they don't show or tell you about the pressure on A Baby Story
they don't really tell you about in all the books you read
they don't talk about it in your labor classes
OR at least they didn't for me.

So I am starting to feel a little uncomfortable. BY 5am I am incredibly uncomfortable and in incredible pain. PAIN that the epidural does absolutely nothing for. I am in tears. I am that crazy woman in labor telling her husband we are never having children again.

By 7:30am I start pushing. This is after the conversation with my husband about how I have to start pushing and if he needs to tell a nurse he probably should now. With which I get, "don't start pushing yet" WHAT!?!? Are you kidding me, when you have to push YOU HAVE TO PUSH.

About half way through that, they flip me on my side, toss an oxygen mask on me, because little man's heartbeat was dropping too much. Pressure was WORSE on my side.

And push I did until 9:53 am when Titus Matthew Spore finally came out.

What a rush! It happens so quick. The pain stops immediately. They place this tiny human on top of me. He wasn't screaming, but he was breathing. And then they rush him away. Apparently he had his umbilical cord wrapped around his neck and he was showing some signs of infection.

I had some intense stich work to be done. Several tears, including one 3rd degree tear. Total of 8 places stitched. But Praise the Lord I didn't have to have a C-Section.

After I was all stiched up, they brought Mr. Titus back to me.

And then, then I got all my wires and tubes, minus the IV, off and took a shower. The most amazing shower EVER.

We spent the next 3 nights in the hospital. I was discharged on Tuesday and Titus was discharged on Wednesday. He stayed a little longer because he recieved IV antibiotics because he was showing signs of an infection. He was a little juandiced one day but we nipped it in the bum.

He was supplemented with formula from a bottle on Monday because he was a lilttle juandiced and that started our breastfeeding realtionship off to a rough start. But that's a whole other post.

Brion and I still miss the hospital. Although we recieved some conflicting information from some nurses all and all we absolutlely loved the nurses and the comfort of having everything right there and not having to make your own meals.

And now here we are home, 3 weeks later and surviving.

37 weeks 5 days... pregnant....

2008-05-01T13:53:00.000-07:00

and i have a child who refuses to live anywhere else but under my right rib cage.

I have been one cm dialated and 80% effaced for over a week and half and secretly fear that I will be 1 and 80 for the next weeks.

Maybe this is gross stuff that you aren't supposed to talk about outloud, but I often find myself compelled to tell anyone who will listen. I know that most women are okay and even excited to hear about how thin my cervix is, but even some men are excited to hear about it.

So yes, I am super "thinned" out, doc doesn't care much just says "congrats on getting the hard work over early" - Hard work, I think, how about the other 9cm I have to go.... that's prob won't be too easy.

My husband is convinced that this baby will come early, I think that is just in spite of the fact that I still have one more event to get through next Wednesday. Made it through the biggest of the 3 events that I've had last night. Awana awards night. It was a success I think. And mostly because of my super cool husband.

Thursday is cleaning day for me. It has also been a work at home day for the last 3 weeks as I had to make an effort to start staying at home at least one day a week.

35 weeks and 6 days pregnant

2008-04-18T14:43:00.000-07:00

I have really really been blessed with this pregnancy.

No bed rest, not gestational diabetes, no crazy wight gain, no high blood pressure.

If you'd asked a doctor before I got pregnant what my chances were of having a pregnancy like the one I have had so far, they would have said they weren't that great.

But they would have told me to watch my diet really closely, to loose as much wieght as I possibly could before. I didn't loose any weight and well my pregnant diet.... not that great.

In fact, no one in the medical profession was even convinced that it would be as "easy" as it was for the two of us to get pregnant.

I say all these things, because I want everyone to know why I think these things happen - BECAUSE OF JESUS!

This is not to say that if I had been given a "rough" pregnancy or even an "awful" one, that it wouldn't have been BECUASE OF JESUS!

Two Tuesdays ago when the doc said, lets order an ultrasound he measures too big. I thought - well, here we go, this is the bump I have been expecting.

Now, you see we know our due date is correct because well, we just do. He's a honeymoon baby after all. So its not so easy, as the few people who asked me "Well, could you just be off on your due date?" might have thought. Yea, NO, we're not off on the due date.

So today, Brion and I trucked into the hospital for our ultrasound. To find out if this little man of ours really is too big.

TURNS OUT!
He's not! Which is good news... guess I just measure big (which is not what a pregnant lady want to think about, but whatever I already feel like a truck)

So they measured his little head, his tummy, his precious little femur bone. And all in all he measures in at 36weeks 2 days, so he's three days ahead of my schedule. He's just an over achiever. And weighs in at an estimated 6lbs 7 oz already!! Already??? my gosh, I hope he's stops growing in the next couple weeks like my books say! Ultrasound tech said she would put him closer to six pounds.

He's got little chubby cheeks already and he's head down like he's supposed to be. PRAISE THE LORD!

So my little guy is cooking right along. Each day I can't imagine being more uncomfortable, but then the next day comes and well... I am more uncomfortable. Some nights are better than others and some are awful. I think I am starting to have not so comfortable braxton hicks or maybe a contraction every now and then. Something that doesn't feel good at least. The stretching/pulling pains have mellowed out a little bit... Thank you Jesus!

And well, we just keep trucking along.

Funny thing for a pregnant lady to do: Put on one of your non-maternity shirts 4 weeks before you are due. Now I switched to maternity shirts well before I probably needed to, but man are they comfortable. So when I switched I could still wear my regular t-shirts. Well last night I making spaghetti sauce and since I don't have an apron I try to use an old t-shirt that I don't care if it gets splashed on so I threw on an old regular t-shirt. It barely covered my belly button! I know my belly has a baby in it and that it had gotten bigger, but I just didn't really realize how much bigger!!!!

And now I go.

Ashley please note that is two posts in one month. :)

baby coming... soon...

2008-04-05T19:07:00.000-07:00

34 weeks pregnant am I. Today.

I also had my baby shower today. Parties for myself make me uncomfortable. And even though technically it was for Titus, he still resides in me. We were incredibly blessed. Incredibly.

He can come today if he wants, we'd be able to wash him, dress him, change him, wash him, clip his nails, take his temp, suction snot out of his nose, and I think most of what we would need to do.

Being pregnant is intense, all the things babies need or are supposed to have. Intense.

I feel huge. And I know I will continue to grow "bigger" for another 6 weeks.
I feel like he is out of room already. But I know that he will still keep growing.

I am nervous about when he will come. I want so hard to convince myself that he might be late, so I don't go crazy if he is. But I am incredibly paranoid that he will be early.

We have talks, talks between the three of us. Titus, God and myself.

Pleading prayers more so. God, please don't let Titus come before May 8. God please don't let Titus stay in there for too long. Titus are you listening?

I don't know if these things are concerns or worries so much.

Finalized my maternity leave plans as finalized as they can be. How do you finalize a maternity plan when you don't know when the baby is coming, or how long you can last?

I am shooting for my last Sunday at church being May 10. The following Saturday is my due date. But who knows...

Oh, I swell now. So now, the ring that was already sized one size bigger then pre-pregnancy, now is too tight sometimes. I love my wedding ring. It is my real wedding ring, and I don't want to wear it around my neck. It belongs on my finger.

So the last 8 weeks or so of pregnancy aren't the most fun weeks in your pregnancy. Luckily by this time, I have somewhat forgotten how miserable I was for the first 11 weeks of my pregnancy. Missing those middle 20 weeks that I had, where I didn't feel incredibly pregnant or sick.

On another note, I feel incredibly bonded with my child already. When he squirms or kicks enough to force my attention away from whatever I am doing - I slow down and hang out with him. Put my hands on my tummy and talk to him. If I do not do this for awhile - I miss him. A lot. I am getting more and more excited to meet this little human that lives inside me.

My super amazing husband is gone this weekend at our church Men's Retreat. Can't wait for him to come home and see all the fun things Titus got at the shower.

So there, Miss Ashley, I posted. :)

I will try and keep posting as I struggle through the next 8 weeks of pregnancy. And I really want to be better about posting when Mr. Titus comes out!

51 days and counting...

2008-03-27T12:42:00.000-07:00

I am officially 8 months pregnant.

Have I mentioned being pregnant is wierd?

Wonderful and amazing. But wierd.

Cats have kittens. Dogs have puppies. And so on... so you would think I should be convinced that I am have a baby. But I probably won't be until he comes out.

He's in there for sure. Took me 6 months and 3 ultrasounds to be convinced of it.

I am officialy in maternity clothes. OH! How I long for regular pants again. I didn't have to start wearing them seriously till about 6 1/2 months along, and officialy have not been in a regular pair of pants for two weeks.

I didn't always want to be married

2008-01-17T12:24:00.000-08:00

I didn't always want to be married...

It wasn't until I really had Christ in my heart that I desired to have a husband someday. And it was even longer before I desire to really be a wife.

When I first met Brion, I didn't know that I would want to marry him someday. Even a couple years after we were such good friends, I still don't think I was convinced that I would want to marry him.

But when we started "courting" I began to know that I wanted to marry him and about a week later I believe I really knew that I really wanted to marry him and be his wife. And definitely by the time he proposed.

And now almost 5 months later, I'm pregnant with his child and desperately in love with him. And now I know more than I did before that I want to be married to him forever and ever. The day I married him was the day I have loved him the least out of all the days since, I am more in love each and everyday. Still falling I assume. Maybe there is no trick to falling, whether you land on rocks or water, maybe the point is to just never stop falling.

He left yesterday for Salem, he'll be back Saturday afternoon. He's not gone that long. But when you finally come to the place of loving your husband so much that you want to see him in the morning, when you or he come home from work, in the evening, and sleep curled next to him in the night. 4 days 3 nights is a long time.

Okay, maybe it's just a really long time when you are pregnant. But I don't know married with out pregnant. Yet.

I have a little bar on my google home page that reminds me how pregnant I am...
Today I am 22 weeks 5 days pregnant with 121 days to go.
Along with the realization that I am 5 months(ish) pregant. Definitely closer to 5 months, than 4 & 1/2 months which was so much more fun saying (and not as scary.)

I feel the little peanut (which is a boy peanut) move inside me more. although not as much as I want to. More so what happens is "I THINK" I feel him, so I stop everything I am doing (including talking to anyone) and place my hand on my tummy say a little prayer that goes something like so (God, please let me feel little Titus again. Amen) and wait for 30 seconds while nothing happens again.

I then speed up like I do, to buzz around getting whatever done. Or I sit distracted by a movie or a conversation. I never seem to be focused on my little guy when he moves enough for me to feel him.

I am constantly assured that this will change.

Other than the wierd pulls of my muscles stretching and making room for my little guy in there AND the constant heartburn. I am enjoying my second trimester very much so. I think.

I have gained a whoping total of 3lbs and am still fitting into my regular clothes, at least I did today. I am not convinced that I will tomorrow. My waist has defintely expanded.

I did however purchase my first pair of maternity pants, and MAN are those things comfy. Well, much more comfy than my jeans, which are very snug in the waist.

We are moving. From our big grand victorian to a house that fits us a little better. Our current house has 36 steps leading to the front door and I have been advised that those would not be fun with a new born, our current landlord wanted to charge us an additional $200 a month to use an extra room (right now we use one of the three bedrooms in the house) and the fact that we don't have a washer and dryer made us start thinking about moving. However, after a big miscommunication with our landlord that ended with her yelling at my husband we promptly gave our 30 days notice. We now have until February 5th to move.

We found a house, we love it. We walked through it on Saturday. Gave them an filled out application to rent, told them how much we loved the place.... AND.... we have heard nothing. They have NOT called us to tell us yes or no. It is breaking my heart. The not knowing process is breaking my heart. The idea of looking at one more junky house to rent is breaking my heart. But I know God has a plan... so we shall see.

That is our current life in a nutshell. Well that is 1/2 our current life in a nutshell. Maybe the rest later. In the meantime just wanted to give a little update.

Holy as He is Holy....

2007-12-13T14:53:00.000-08:00

Yesterday in staff meeting. Which always blows me away. Because it's me. 3 pastors. Our administrator. And our office manager, who relects true inner grace and beauty more than anyone I have ever come across. They all have at least 11 years on me. And have such spiritual maturity that at times I feel like just an infant.

Anyhow we did a little church health assesment. My senior pastor is working on his Doctorate. His on the O. He figures it will take him roughly 6 years to get it. He's on his 2nd. So it's the O. However the church assesment was for an upcoming class that he is taking.

We had to answer some very thought provoking questions.
Previous church assesments I have been involved in have been as simple as
"How many small groups do you have?" "Are they well attended?" "How many people come to your church?"
Lame questions - that don't really give you an good idea of the health of your church.

We answered as a team - questions like:

**To what extent are people in our church committed to being holy as God is holy?
**To what extent do the people in our church avoid judgemental attitudes and accept one another just as Christ has accepted them?
**To what extent are the people in our church committed to doing good works because of thier salvation?
**To what extent are the people in our church praying that they will reflect the love and holiness of God Himself?
**To what extent are people in our church ministering to one another by practicing all of the "one-another" injuctions?

That is just a few of the questions we answered about the health of our church. But to reflect on them... to ask myself those same questions. To what extent am I commited to being holy as God is holy? I think about the word "committed". The first thing that comes to mind, is the commitment I have to my husband. He will be my husband until we die. He is the only man in my life. He will come before everything in my life, but not before God. It is a strong commitment. But is a commitment really a commitment if it is not strong? Am I committed to being holy as God is holy? I think I have a wussy commitment to being holy - or I wouldn't curse in my mind, just because the word doesn't make it out of my mouth, doesn't mean I am being holy. That is just ONE example of not being holy. I know I will never be holy as He is holy, but what commitment do I have to trying? I think it's a lame one. An "I'll come to your Christmas party, if I feel up to it" kind of commitment. An "I'll get up at 6:30am, when I don't really have to" kind of commitment.

I know realization of it is the first step to truly being committed to being holy as God is holy.

I wanted to write about my pregnancy, but theres not much to say. I'm 17 weeks. Have not felt the baby move yet. We have an ultrasound schedule for Dec. 24th at 10:15 am, where we will get to see the baby. The ultrasound tech will put GIRL or BOY in an envelope and we will open it with my crazy family on Dec. 25th at 11:01am. I say 11:01am because we can not go to my mom's before 11 to open presents because her and my step-dad sleep forever in the mornings.... In 10 weeks I will beging my third and final trimester. Nothing in my life has ever passed me by faster than the last 17 weeks, and I know the next 10 will fly by. Then, I hear, time slows down a little bit. I am enjoying every new phase, craving, and pain that I am having.

I have directed my first Christmas program as a Children's Ministry Director. It will be the Sunday, December 16th. So wierd to know that in 4 more Christmas' that our first child could be in the church Christmas program. And if he or she is anything like thier Dad, they won't stay out of the spotlight.

It's now 4:42pm. It's time for me to leave work and enjoy my non-minstry Thursday evening. (That means my husband and I can do whatever we want and don't have to go to Youth Group, Awana, BFC meeting, or any of the other things that we do on most other nights of the week.)

The fall of Veggie Tales

2007-11-06T14:33:00.000-08:00

I have a myspace that I check regularly. I spend most of my time catching up with teens from the church and a little bit catchin up with the adults in my life.

I don't enjoy "blogging" in my myspace, the things that I choose to write on myspace, are usually very purposefully written towards the teens.

I don't write about my pregnancy, which I should.

And I just read the most amazing LONG article about Phil Vischer, the fall of Big Idea, & Veggie Tales, AND I don't want to write about it my myspace.

I have a live journal that I check once a week. I don't really know why anymore. Routine.

And now I am here.

But here is where my grown-up friends are.
And I think I might be a grown-up to.

I am a chlidren's ministry director. I have always cared about the things that enter a child's heart and mind. And I always want those things to point a child to Christ.

I have watched a lot of Veggie Tales, but now that I am going to be a parent, I don't feel like I have read enough or watched enough of the things that will enter my child's heart and mind. Because now it is MY child that I want to be pointed to Christ. Oh how this will open my eyes.

I didn't think the feelings would change that much with a child on it's way. I thought I always cared a lot, but now, I care more than I did. In fact I care more today than I did yesterday. I only imagine that pattern will continue again tomorrow.

Which means I want to read and investigate everything that I come across, more that I already do in my job.

I've read three children's books today, I've read several book reviews, found a website that does christian children book reviews that I trust and like, and read the entire story behind the bankruptcy of Big Idea (the Veggie Tales company).

All because I happened to want a little background on a couple different things.
http://www.philvischer.com/index.php/?p=38 (Story of what happened to big idea?)

So I read the 10 page story of how the bakruptcy happend.

I took me awhile, I hate reading that long of articles on my computer, my hand fell asleep because my head was rested on my palm which my elbow and fore arm were supporting. Poor squashed, sad, asleep hand.

I was riveted by the article. I've always loved the business side of things - management and people and goals. And in ministry it is different. Because it's ministry, I know that that each person that I work with on a daily basis loves Jesus with all thier heart, or they wouldn't be working at a church. You don't work at church because you make lots of money. In fact, if you work at a church, you must ask yourself more than once, if you would do your job for free. And when you say yes, you must mean it. I am blessed to be paid for what I do.

I will begin posting in here more. I imagine. Especially as the pregnancy progresses.

Married

2007-08-31T12:36:00.000-07:00

I should have posted about this sooner... as it has been almost a week now...

On Saturday, August 25th at promptly 1:00pm, I was married to the most amazing man I know. A man who wants to lead me, love me, respect me and further me on in my relationship with Christ.